The Wedding Poem

Melissa, we're pleased that you're married,
But frankly, it should have come sooner.
But we figured you might have had problems
With a boyfriend who called himself, "Duner."

It isn't his name that's the issue.
It's the fact he's from Texas, the dork.
'Cause you know that we're always suspicious
Of foreigners not from New York

Look at your poor Uncle Peter
He's still an outsider to us.
While those from Seattle and Chicago
Beg just to get on the bus.

Your dear Uncle Milo's another;
A gentleman giant with charm.
But he's still from that farm state, Ohio,
And still with the smell from the farm.

Even your Aunt Grace from Pittsburgh
After 34 years doesn't rate.
In spite of the fact that her brother
Is the Assistant Head Coach at Penn State.

So Melissa we know you love Duner.
(He does have a cute Texas tush.)
But we'll be damned if in this year's election
We'll be voting for Governor Bush!!